A father is to parent his sons, from boys to men. No, I'm not talking about the 90s vocal group Boys II Men. I'm talking about the father raising his son(s) from boyhood to manhood. To be men in men's bodies, not boys in men's bodies. I'm tired of seeing boys walking around in a man's body; it's wrong, and it is a failure of the father, and our culture is paying the steep price for it.
So, how does the father-son relationship affect the next generation? Looking around at the generations post-babyboomer, we see the growing effect of the father's absence in the home on the culture. By looking at the culture, it becomes clear that the father-son relationship affects the outcome of future generations. For one, we can easily say that the father's absence in their son's life results in boyish activity, leaving a generation of boys who don't know how to be men. However, we can also say that fathers who are active in their sons' lives produce a strong lineage of men who live lives that impact the culture.
This could perhaps be the most important key to changing the culture present fathering for the next generation. Keep Reading.
Father-Son Relationships
This chart shows an alarming deficit in father-led homes. Since the 1950s, the number of women-led homes has dramatically increased, leaving fathers behind. Many might say, what is so wrong with that? Women are nurturers, and children need to be nurtured. Yes, at specific points in children's development, they need nurturing, but they also need strong boundaries for health and development.
Just take a moment and look at the current culture in America and the projection of where it is heading. It's not good, and much of what is going on is TERRIBLY wrong. Generations of children being raised by women have produced the fruit of an awful culture. It's time to wake up and smell the dirty diaper. (For an in-depth look at this, see the post: A Generation of Men Raised by Women, written by Art of Manliness)
A whole new area of modern psychology research has been created to look into this problem of the lack of the presence of the father in the son's life. Problem? YES! It is a huge problem. Is there a solution? YES! The solution is for biological males to become men and learn what it means to be a father.
Manliness
What is a father? A father is a man who lovingly invests in his children, instructing them toward maturity at every stage of life. For a deeper look into this, please see my post, What is a Father? You cannot become what you have not defined! To become what your children need, you must first determine what it means to be a man and then a father.
You also cannot teach what you don't know. As men, we must raise men, NOT boys. Not defining what it means to be a man means we are not raising men. Additionally, not defining what it means to be a father means we are not raising fathers. Unintentionally, we, as fathers, are not guiding our sons anywhere. Change in the next generation requires change in the present generation.
If you want a lasting family legacy, you must become the man you want your sons to emulate and the man you want your daughters to look for in marriage.
Legacy
The diligent and intentional fathering of sons will impart a lasting vision and value system to their grandchildren for generations. A study by AE Winship of two men in the 1700s and the legacy left behind gives a glaring picture of an intentional father.
The study was of Jonathan Edwards, a man whose name is not revealed, but Winship calls him Max Jukes. Here are the results of the legacy of these men:
Jonathan Edwards’ legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 1 Dean of a law school, 1 dean of a medical school, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 60 doctors, 65 professors, 75 Military officers, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers, 100 clergymen, and 285 college graduates.
Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 190 prostitutes, 150 other convicts, 310 paupers, and 440 who were physically wrecked by addiction to alcohol. Of the 1,200 descendants that were studied, 300 died prematurely.
Edwards lived a very intentional life with his wife and children, leading to a legacy that continues to play out positively today. On the other hand, a derelict father's legacy is much different. Which legacy do you want to leave behind? Your current relationship with your son will impact the future of your family. Will it be a positive or a negative impact?
Conclusion
Statistics show that a father's intentional presence in a home deeply impacts the physical, emotional, and spiritual development and health of the children. But it is so much more than that! The father's intentional impact on a family can change the course of generations that are yet to be. We see now the negative impact of a fatherless culture, so let's change the course of tomorrow by being intentional fathers today! How far are you in your journey as a father, from being the one you want your sons to emulate to your daughters to marry? That's a big question with enormous consequences! How much will your current state of fatherhood cost your family in the long run?
Related Questions
Why is the Father-Son Relationship so Difficult? It is NOT difficult; it is costly. Most fathers want the reward of raising men without the cost of raising men. Raising children is work, and the more work you put in, the more you get on the return investment. Any work that is worth doing is worth doing well. Raise your boys to become men, and you will have the greatest return you can possibly earn on any investment.
How do Absent Fathers Affect Sons? How absent fathers affect their sons is a huge area of study right now. The outcomes have yet to be fully understood. Yet, we know that it leads to a lack of physical, emotional, and spiritual development. Which is expressed in higher drug use, prison rates, unemployment, and divorce rates.
How Important is the Father-Son Relationship? The importance of the Father-Son relationship cannot be overstated; it is very important. It plays a huge role in the son's development and parenting model, which plays out in shaping culture and the next generation. The diligent and intentional father can impact a family's direction for generations and leave a lasting imprint on the world because he spends intentional time with his son.
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