Have you ever spent time playing with playdough or clay? You take a moldable object and form it into a desired image. Perhaps your thing is pottery or glass making. The imagery is taking something without form and giving it shape, form, and expression. The object's form helps determine its use, such as a bowl, plate, cup, etc. What is the form of a father, and where is the model father?
So, what are the father's responsibilities? Fathers have a duty to their families; this is responsibility. As with any responsibility, the family must be well-stewarded. The father stewards his family well when he actively invests in his family, leading them toward the family's shared vision and value system. He moves the family through his model: his actions lining up with his speech or his values lining up with his vision. Thus, the father's responsibility is to lead his family toward a shared vision and values as he fulfills his role as protector, provider, and disciplinarian.
For more like posts, see: What is a Father? --- What is the Father's Role in the Family?
Responsibility is a BIG topic, and a Father's responsibility is BIGGER. Let's dive deeper into this much-needed study.
The Necessity of Credibility
There is a common saying in parenting: "Do as I say, don't do as I do!" This is garbage. If you are guilty of saying it, apologize to your children, and don't ever say it again. It doesn't work, and you WILL lose credibility with your family. Credibility is a necessary foundation for activity, as it is the quality of being trusted and believed in.
Credibility is gained when the vision spoke, and the values lived align. Likewise, credibility is lost when the vision spoken contradicts the values lived. The father's responsibility is to steward his family by leading them towards their shared vision and value system. The way to accomplish this is to be the model for your family, as your expressed vision aligns with your lived values.
A Father's Responsibilities: Be the Model
In my post entitled The Father Factor, I said,
The children are learning how to relate to the world through our consistency or inconsistency. Sons model their father's observed character, and daughters look for their father's character in other relationships (eventually marriage). I don't remember where my wife heard this, but she said, "Be the man you want your daughters to marry." This is true; my daughters will seek a man who resembles me. On the other hand, my sons are those who, at a young age, model their behavior after mine.
Children model their character after those whom they look up to and who have a proven track record of consistency. Sadly, most children model their character after superheroes or sports stars that are seen on television (those on TV can't let you down). They want to be like them because they have no REAL father influence at home to follow, a REAL Father who models, invests, and is consistent in their children's lives.
Children don't need outside influences; they need their Fathers to be their influencers. The father is responsible for leading them towards maturity and consistent character. It should be that the father is the mold that the children are to be pressed into. Be the man you want your sons to become and your daugters to marry, this is a father living out his responsibility. If you're not that man yet, work to become that man.
IMMORTALITY
I am a follower of Jesus Christ, so I naturally hold to the truth that our lives are eternal. Yet, this is not what I am talking about here. People are obsessed with being immortal, the idea of living life forever. I'm not sure people really want this or the knowledge that they will not be forgotten when they are gone.
To me, it's more likely that people think of immortality so that they don't have to face the fear of being irrelevant. The nature of physical life is that we are born, hope to live for a long time, and then die. What happens to their name and everything they stand for when they die? Is it possible for their name (their character and values) and everything they stood for (their vision) to live on forever?
Yes, I believe it is. I believe it is possible to become immortal in that sense of our children passing down our vision and values to our grandchildren in an unbreakable chain of multigenerational legacy. This doesn't happen by accident. It can only happen as the father responsibly stewards his family by intentionally modeling and diligently instructing his vision and values to his children, who in turn intentionally model and diligently instruct their children. To do this, the founding father needs 'mucho' (much in Spanish, I think) credibility! Credibility that is earned as he responsibly stewards his family.
Conclusion
Fathers shoulder huge responsibility. They must be the living model for their family to follow. Walking the talk, so to speak. Sons will act like their fathers, and daughters will look to marry someone like their father. How far are you currently in your journey as a father from being the model for your home? That's a big question with enormous consequences! How much will your current state of fatherhood cost your family in the long run?
Related Questions
What is the Father Responsible for? The Father is responsible for the direction and stewardship of the family unit. The father stewards his family well when he actively invests in his family, leading them toward the family's shared vision and value system. He moves the family through his model: his actions lining up with his speech or his values lining up with his vision. Thus, the father's responsibility is to lead his family towards a shared vision and values as he fulfills his role as protector, provider, and disciplinarian.
What is the Father's Job in the Family? A father is one who takes his role and purpose seriously. A father is a man who lovingly invests in his children, instructing them toward maturity at every stage of life. The father's role is to lovingly move the child to maturity in every stage of life through intentional and consistent instruction as the protector, provider, and disciplinarian.
What Should a Father-to-be Do? The Father-to-be should learn what it means to become a man and a father. This is not an easy task, and in this culture will require a lot of study and discernment. Find a mentor with a good reputation and proven track record of healthy and mature children and do whatever you have to to position yourself around them.
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